Memories of My Uncle

I miss my Uncle Greg. He was always there for me when I needed him. He always knew how to make me laugh. He always listened to my problems, and we'd have long discussions about life or music. He liked to play guitar and write songs. All of the cousins saw him as their favorite uncle, I know I did. When I was a girl, after my dad died, and my mom needed a little help, my uncle lived with us. Every morning, he would get me ready for school. I have a fond memory of him brushing my hair which was long, and he was heavy handed about it. I would go to school with a headache usually, but with a smile because he always felt bad about hurting me. There are many memories though. Really, my uncle would always be there if someone in the family needed him for anything.


I guess with every beautiful soul comes a few flaws. My uncle had an addiction. He drank almost everyday. Even when I was a girl, yet I never really cared. Even, when he was at his worst, I never turned my back on him. It made me sad when people did. Didn't they know he didn't want to hurt anyone? I guess, for some people he was too much at times. I didn't know their reasons. There were times when he was out of control, and he'd feel bad afterwards. I always forgave him because I loved him so much. My uncle had so much love for his whole family. I know it hurt him when the family asked him to leave grandma's house when she was in the nursing home recovering from a broken hip. I guess they thought he'd cause added stress to her or fall on her, I don't know. My grandma would have never allowed him to leave. The family kept the "kicking out" from her. Anyway, he moved in with my aunt, got a new haircut and vowed to get into rehab, so he could take care of grandma when she was well enough to leave.


Needless to say, life doesn't always work out as planned. My uncle died shortly after when my grandma was still in the nursing home. I don't really know the circumstances, but his heart stopped when he was asleep. He was 43-years-old. Imagine, my family having to go to the nursing home to tell my grandma that her youngest was dead. I don't know if I can ever truly forgive the family for kicking him out behind my grandma's back, but I hope they forgave themselves. I could go over what-ifs all day, but it wouldn't do any good. My grandma died a year later. I hope she was at peace, but I don't know for sure. Imagine how she felt. This is a woman who raised fourteen children. Did the family really think she was that stupid? She was not happy about the circumstances around my uncle's death. I would have felt betrayal, but she wasn't me. She was a devout woman who loved her children. I'm sure she forgave them all, but maybe she had forgiven them as soon as she found out. I could see that. I guess, I'm the one who feels bitter and betrayed. It's so silly! 

I have to say that most of the times with the family and Greg were good. There were great memories at family reunions and such. The family loved Greg, truly! They did what they thought was the right thing at the time. I just disagreed with it! 


Gregory "Greg" Phelps 1963-2006